Don Henley’s Mesopotamian Connection: “The Boys of Sumer”

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I’ve tried submitting this to many prestigious journals of Ancient Near Eastern history, but no one seems to believe that the following pretty much a word-for-word translation from some dusty cuneiform tablets:

Nobody on the road
Cuz roads ain’t been invented yet
I feel it in the air
Babylon stinkin like a bitch
Inundated river, empty streets,
The sun goes down alone
I’m walkin’ by your mud-brick house
Though you’re probably at the ziggurat

I can see you
Your brown skin shinin’ in the sun
You got your hair combed back,
Bright like Shamash, baby.
And I can tell you
my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of Sumer have gone

I never will forget those nights
I wonder if it was a dream,
(I should consult a dream interpreter
And learn some magic spells
To keep dogs from attacking me.)
Remember how you made me crazy?
Remember how I made you scream?
Now I don’t understand what happened to our love—
Oh wait, it was those dipshits from Sumer,
But baby I’m gonna get you back.

I can see you,
Your brown skin shinin’ in the sun
I see you walkin’ like Ishtar, slow,
And you’re smilin’ at
All those artisans and craft specialists
Who are inventing technology and architecture,
And I’m just a poor guy from the marshes,
But I can tell you
my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of Sumer have gone

Out in the city today, I saw a Marduk sticker on a newly-made wheeled vehicle
A little voice Inside my head said, “Nothing associated with Sumer rhymes with ‘vehicle’”
I thought I knew what love caused by magic spells was,
What did I know?
That magician took my money
And my only chicken
And you’re still running around with dickhead Sumerians.

I can see you
Your brown skin shinin’ in the sun
You got your veil pulled down
And are humming some hymns to Enlil, baby,
And I can tell you
my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of Sumer have gone,
The fucksticks.

I can see you
Your brown skin shinin’ in the sun
Your anointed hair slicked back
Singing about Gilgamesh, baby
I can tell you my love
for you will still be strong
After the boys of Sumer have gone.

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22 replies »

  1. I believe you, Tim.
    Because I know those prestigious
    journals of Near Eastern History
    are run by aliens, to keep their
    involvement secret.
    And Don Henley is one of them.

    Liked by 2 people

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