On Friendship

13 thoughts on “On Friendship”

  1. I believe he enjoyed coming to work, where he could exert a little positive control over his life. Part of the reason he enjoyed work is because you were there, not imposing a conversation he didn’t want to have.

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  2. Reblogged this on Storyweaving and commented:
    I enjoyed this reflective blog that opened up a space for compassion and humility, through a memory. Revisiting this memory, in this well-written essay, helped him change the story and his way of thinking about the world. A blessing…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well put, Tim. I recently started working with a private charity out here in Maryland farm country, and what I’ve found is that even when people are getting much-needed food assistance or a ride to a doctor’s appointment, what they also really want is a little time with someone who hears them: their long-ago regrets, their tedious gripes, the aches that keep them up at night. Listening is uncommon in a society where more people want to publish novels than read them.

    It occurs to me that “To the House of the Sun” involves a great number of people hoping to unburden themselves a little by telling their stories to a willing listener.

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  4. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel. But your words have reminded me of situations similar to this case. I had a friend..more like a best friend that worked with me a few years back while I was in college. She was over a decade older than me but we had the absolute best time hanging out together, We’d work an overnight ship at a retail store we worked at together and we would have pillow fights in the dark of the store in the home goods department to pass some time if we were too early. Apart from this though, our lives were kept separate (mostly my fault). I was studying grief counseling at the time and she was calling out of work very frequently. To which I did not even ask why ( I regret this terribly). It wasn’t out of not wanting to know or care, but I too felt that I shouldn’t pry what may be a very uncomfortable topic for reasons I no longer feel mattered. Years have gone by since I’ve worked there and I went back to visit past coworkers and found one I recognized. I asked her how my old friend was faring and found to my own shock that she died of cancer and had been getting chemo during my time there. She never told anyone, or ever complained about pain. She worked with me at 4am every morning she could and never faultered in her work. Too many regrets came with that news and I hope you someday get a chance to tell him what he meant to you. If I could I would have gone back and told her I cared for her and I would take her to the zoo like I promised.

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  5. Reflecting on what you wrote, I am thinking of people who I have confided in that left me irritated because instead of just listening, they seemed compelled to inform me how to fix this and that or opine what they declared as the source of the problem. All I really wanted was a little empathy and maybe some kind words to help me put it all in perspective.

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